Thursday, July 14, 2011

Booby Trapped!

My main squeeze left yesterday for a week long work trip so last night was my first night home alone. It went HORRIBLY. At first, I was fine. Minding my own business watching Big Brother and eating a dinner of popcorn and red wine. Then bedtime came. Suddenly, I became very aware of the fact that the apartment was a little too dark, the shadows of the trees and car headlights made eery little shapes on the curtains, and our living room windows didn't lock.

My first thought; DONE FOR. 100% CHANCE I'LL BE ATTACKED BY SOMEONE WAITING UNTIL THIS EXACT NIGHT WHEN MY BOYFRIEND HAD TO GO OUT OF TOWN TO STRIKE!!

Second thought; Guess I'll never get to wear those super cute Dolce Vita Snakeskin loafers I just ordered.

Adorable, no?

Necessity is the mother of invention, so I devised a Booby Trap under each window. I would place something underneath each windowsill and if the Killer were to sneak in, he (or she!) would unsuspectingly knock them over and wake me up. Genius. The only thing I could find were vintage food canisters. I placed the vintage food canisters under each window, crawled into bed and waited.

scaaaaaaary!

Of course, I thought I heard one canister knock over in the middle of the night. I debated for about 10 minutes whether the sound was in fact the Killer or the click of our Air Conditioner. I realized that if it was the Killer, then what's taking him so long? This is a large studio apartment. Is he lost? AMATEUR! So, I drifted back off to sleep.

Yikes. I'm insane. Six more nights until my bodyguard comes back.

2 comments:

  1. Im convinced that Ambien is in business to lull lonely ladies to sleep when their boyfriends are away. Its the only way I make it through those scary nights... That and my attack dog, apty named squeeks.

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  2. Agreed! Someone recently gifted me a bottle of Skinny Girl Margarita. I slept fine after that.

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